my dreams mock at me.
when everything fades away each night,
they come to me.
ever taunting,
ever haunting.
in a place where my conscious mind holds no seat,
they show me everything i want to see,
the whispers of the things i long to hear,
brushing me with the feelings i ache to feel.
my dreams mock at me with a vengeance,
for tainting the purity of love.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
it's the times when ...
it's the middle of the night.
i just spent the last 3 hours studying physics for a test i thought was tomorrow.
only to discover that it's been postponed till thursday.
sure you'd think "why're you complaining, now you can go to sleep and have more time to study for it.."
WRONG. now i have an econs drq and an econs commentary to do because i thought the physics was more important.
i know i said i don't use my blog to complain. but excuse me this once..
but in this little eye of the storm between me pacing around the room muttering to myself,
i've realised that it's the times like this, that make you.
that really make you who you are..
it's these times when you could turn off the light and go to sleep,
but you choose to stay up and finish your homework, that make a good student.
it's the times when you could avoid trouble by walking away,
but you step in to protect the weak, that make a friend.
it's the times when all you want to do is scream and take it out on everyone around you,
but you scream and cry your eyes out when nobody's around to get hurt, that make you a pillar of support.
it's the times when you could shut off the light and roll over to sleep,
but you stay up all night to console a torn heart, that make a lover.
it's the times when you want to turn and run as fast as you can,
but you stop and help, that make a hero.
it's the times when all common sense and the world screams at you to do something wrong,
but you choose to do right, that make a man.
i just spent the last 3 hours studying physics for a test i thought was tomorrow.
only to discover that it's been postponed till thursday.
sure you'd think "why're you complaining, now you can go to sleep and have more time to study for it.."
WRONG. now i have an econs drq and an econs commentary to do because i thought the physics was more important.
i know i said i don't use my blog to complain. but excuse me this once..
but in this little eye of the storm between me pacing around the room muttering to myself,
i've realised that it's the times like this, that make you.
that really make you who you are..
it's these times when you could turn off the light and go to sleep,
but you choose to stay up and finish your homework, that make a good student.
it's the times when you could avoid trouble by walking away,
but you step in to protect the weak, that make a friend.
it's the times when all you want to do is scream and take it out on everyone around you,
but you scream and cry your eyes out when nobody's around to get hurt, that make you a pillar of support.
it's the times when you could shut off the light and roll over to sleep,
but you stay up all night to console a torn heart, that make a lover.
it's the times when you want to turn and run as fast as you can,
but you stop and help, that make a hero.
it's the times when all common sense and the world screams at you to do something wrong,
but you choose to do right, that make a man.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
the mystery of the lost manhood.
ask any girl, well teenage girl i guess, what the first thing that comes to their mind is when you say the word "guys".
-dengdengdeng-
you'll probably get a lot of replies like
"jerks", "brainless", "inconsiderate", "incorrigible" .. and a whole array of imaginatively painful ways to dis the male gender.
and you know what's sad ? a lot of time these insults just bounce off our chest, we laugh them off and grin stupidly.
you know what's even worse ?
it's true.
to be completely honest, there are a lot of times that i'm embarrassed to be a guy.
don't get me wrong please. it's not that i'm looking for a sex change.
but honestly guys, let's face it, we're pretty discpicable creatures.
and we tend to do some pretty brainless things too.
BUT WHYYY !!?!?!?!
i've just begun reading this book called God's Gift To Women by Eric Ludy.
i'm about halfway through but it's really a very good book.
and if by some stroke of luck one of you out there reading this knows a friend of a friend of a relative of a friend who knows eric ludy it'll be fantastic if you could help me thank him. thanks. anyway in this book he talks about exactly this, "discovering the lost greatness of masculinity"
he talks of world changing men, history makers, men that stand up for the weak, men that shroud themselves in purity and fight for the truth.
even as you're reading this, it probably sounds far-fetched right ? you're probably thinking "ho ho this fella has seen one too many disney movies" and that goes to show exactly how far we've strayed away from our blueprints. that we find even the idea of it incredulous..
i don't think we were created to turn out like this..
enslaved into a life of faux identity.
it's a chameleon's life that's what i call it..
changing lifestyles and character traits instantly to blend with the surroundings.
after a while it's hard for even ourselves to know who really are.
really great great men have fast become a rarity.
sometimes it may take an entirely lifetime for us to ever encounter a true example of a, as Eric calls it, warrior poet.
remember the days of William Wallace? people who stood up to fight for freedom. a single man who refused to be ignored, not because he was fat and obnoxious, but because he believed so strongly in something that he would willingly give his life for what he believed in. now when was the last time we didn't give a damn how we looked like on the outside in order to defend something greater on the inside.. allowing ourselves to look less "cool" to save our soul ? it sounds stupid, but most of the time we'd choose to forgo anything rather than to risk appearing uncool.
anyway if you don't know what i'm talking about, go watch brave heart..
i've seen it reduce guys to tears. (yeah, horror of horrors, contrary to popular belief, there are still some guys left who have the ability to cry)
ok i know i'm rambling so i apologize for that. but it's just something that's been heavily impressed upon me this last week.
it's awakened something within me that desires, no, commands me to step out of the throng, and transform myself into something more. i don't know what it is yet.. but there's definitely something MUCH more.
-dengdengdeng-
you'll probably get a lot of replies like
"jerks", "brainless", "inconsiderate", "incorrigible" .. and a whole array of imaginatively painful ways to dis the male gender.
and you know what's sad ? a lot of time these insults just bounce off our chest, we laugh them off and grin stupidly.
you know what's even worse ?
it's true.
to be completely honest, there are a lot of times that i'm embarrassed to be a guy.
don't get me wrong please. it's not that i'm looking for a sex change.
but honestly guys, let's face it, we're pretty discpicable creatures.
and we tend to do some pretty brainless things too.
BUT WHYYY !!?!?!?!
i've just begun reading this book called God's Gift To Women by Eric Ludy.
i'm about halfway through but it's really a very good book.
and if by some stroke of luck one of you out there reading this knows a friend of a friend of a relative of a friend who knows eric ludy it'll be fantastic if you could help me thank him. thanks. anyway in this book he talks about exactly this, "discovering the lost greatness of masculinity"
he talks of world changing men, history makers, men that stand up for the weak, men that shroud themselves in purity and fight for the truth.
even as you're reading this, it probably sounds far-fetched right ? you're probably thinking "ho ho this fella has seen one too many disney movies" and that goes to show exactly how far we've strayed away from our blueprints. that we find even the idea of it incredulous..
i don't think we were created to turn out like this..
enslaved into a life of faux identity.
it's a chameleon's life that's what i call it..
changing lifestyles and character traits instantly to blend with the surroundings.
after a while it's hard for even ourselves to know who really are.
really great great men have fast become a rarity.
sometimes it may take an entirely lifetime for us to ever encounter a true example of a, as Eric calls it, warrior poet.
remember the days of William Wallace? people who stood up to fight for freedom. a single man who refused to be ignored, not because he was fat and obnoxious, but because he believed so strongly in something that he would willingly give his life for what he believed in. now when was the last time we didn't give a damn how we looked like on the outside in order to defend something greater on the inside.. allowing ourselves to look less "cool" to save our soul ? it sounds stupid, but most of the time we'd choose to forgo anything rather than to risk appearing uncool.
anyway if you don't know what i'm talking about, go watch brave heart..
i've seen it reduce guys to tears. (yeah, horror of horrors, contrary to popular belief, there are still some guys left who have the ability to cry)
ok i know i'm rambling so i apologize for that. but it's just something that's been heavily impressed upon me this last week.
it's awakened something within me that desires, no, commands me to step out of the throng, and transform myself into something more. i don't know what it is yet.. but there's definitely something MUCH more.
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