it's amazing how a bit of alcohol can reduce the most respectable people to blabbering idiots.
and then it's even more amazing how after they've puked and felt like shit and ended up lying on the roadside,
they do it again. not that i'm being all high and mighty and looking down on such people. cos i'm not exempt from this kind of behaviour.
and some of my closest friends are as such.
but it doesnt stop me from questioning it anyway.
and i figured it's because everyone needs some way to keep their sanity intact.
as cliche as that is..
drinking to keep your sanity. haha. not funny.
what is it about the dark side of the walkway that appeals and calls out to all of us.
what is it about the dark side of the walkway that can tempt people to throw their lives down the drink. literally.
i really don't know, but i know i'm not exempt from it, and i know it's not going to stop anytime soon.
if ever.
but for those of you who've managed to stay and walk the straight and narrow path.
i take my hat off to you. it's not easy. and i would know..
and i dont' really know what i'm typing at the moment so i'm sorry if i disappointed any of you.
i'm not thinking very straight.
but i know that there's nothing as fulfilling as walking on the straight and narrow path.
it's hard as hell, but there's no drink, or drug or ANYTHING in the world that can equal the feeling of knowing that you're resisting a whole truck load of temptation that's just waiting eagerly to swallow you up.
i'm gonna get my life back on track. i need to.
there's really nothing in this world that gives you the same feeling as knowing that you're walking in the light.
if you haven't yet. don't give it up.
if you have, then this post is for you.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
a moment in time. just a moment.
i sit on my window sill every night.
peering at the stars peering down at me from their lofty places
watching at an occasional glint of sliver taking flight
filled with people of different races..
different people from different places
leaving on a little plane away from this little speck i call home.
and i think of all the different reasons that they're on that plane
holidays, business, people flying home to for the funerals of loved ones perhaps.
so many different lives encased in a flying metal box with no way out.
and yet so oblivious to each others pain and tribulations.
so oblivious and uncaring about the lives that sleep and murmur about them.
and then i think of how everyday we are surrounded by people who come from such diverse backgrounds,
all at different stages of life all going through various amounts of hurt and suffering.
i think of how we're all encased on this world with no way out,
and yet we're so oblivious and uncaring to the lives that surround us everyday.
it's a strange feeling when i think about how small and insignificant i am when compared to the massive amounts of people on this earth..
and then i think of how much i whine and complain about my tribulations.
and i'm immediately silenced when i think of how small and insignificant my problems are when compared to the hurt that churns and froths in the rest of the world.
what would it be like if i could just hit a pause button for a second.
to just quell the world from the incessant rush to get somewhere else,
to feel the world pause for just a second,
a moment when the whole world is silent,
arguments hanging in mid sentence,
bullets hanging in mid air,
even death will stop for that golden moment.
what would it be like to feel the entire world at perfect peace for just a moment.
world peace? haha. far more than just a model answer..
but that's probably all it'll ever be.. a model answer.
i think i should probably get off my window sill now before i start thinking i can fly.
peering at the stars peering down at me from their lofty places
watching at an occasional glint of sliver taking flight
filled with people of different races..
different people from different places
leaving on a little plane away from this little speck i call home.
and i think of all the different reasons that they're on that plane
holidays, business, people flying home to for the funerals of loved ones perhaps.
so many different lives encased in a flying metal box with no way out.
and yet so oblivious to each others pain and tribulations.
so oblivious and uncaring about the lives that sleep and murmur about them.
and then i think of how everyday we are surrounded by people who come from such diverse backgrounds,
all at different stages of life all going through various amounts of hurt and suffering.
i think of how we're all encased on this world with no way out,
and yet we're so oblivious and uncaring to the lives that surround us everyday.
it's a strange feeling when i think about how small and insignificant i am when compared to the massive amounts of people on this earth..
and then i think of how much i whine and complain about my tribulations.
and i'm immediately silenced when i think of how small and insignificant my problems are when compared to the hurt that churns and froths in the rest of the world.
what would it be like if i could just hit a pause button for a second.
to just quell the world from the incessant rush to get somewhere else,
to feel the world pause for just a second,
a moment when the whole world is silent,
arguments hanging in mid sentence,
bullets hanging in mid air,
even death will stop for that golden moment.
what would it be like to feel the entire world at perfect peace for just a moment.
world peace? haha. far more than just a model answer..
but that's probably all it'll ever be.. a model answer.
i think i should probably get off my window sill now before i start thinking i can fly.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
the innocence of a child.
haven't you always looked forward to your birthday?
i know i have.. counting down the weeks, days and hours before that fateful day.
somehow i've always been so eager to grow up.
i remember how as a child i used to be so excited when my shoe size got bigger,
because it meant that i was getting older. comparing my shoe size to my elder brother's to see how many more inches i had to go. (occasionally wearing shoes that were too big for me)
and nothing much changes as we grow older. i'm looking forward to the day i can drive, a sense of independence, not needing to listen to mummy or daddy anymore..
and now as i'm sitting here in my room thinking, the truth is that i actually am much older.
constantly with something serious at hand, deadlines for homework, parties to attend, political battles to avoid, lunch appointments to keep etc..
but then i look at the children playing on the street outside my window, and i remember how it all used to be.. how the most serious thing i could question was why dad always made me nap in the afternoons after lunch !
i remember how i played with shadows on the wall with the torchlight i'd take out from under my bed after i was "asleep".
how i used to sneak out of my bed at night to sleep in my parents room or how i used to hate taking showers cos they only served to waste precious time that could be spent fortifying my lego castle. i remember going through the phase when i felt embarrassed that there was lion king on my bookshelf when my friends came over, and so i filled my bookshelf with these complex sounding books that i really had no clue was about.
now i'm sitting here, and marveling at the loss of childhood innocence, and the wonder of how happy and contented i used to be with everything, with life in general.
without the need to care much for 1500 word history essays due the next day, whether my hair was sitting just right or other vapid stuff like that.
has it been that in my rush to grow up, that i neglected, and threw away precious childhood experiences like an old toy. now i wish i hadn't been so eager to grow up so fast.
oh the innocence of a child.
i know i have.. counting down the weeks, days and hours before that fateful day.
somehow i've always been so eager to grow up.
i remember how as a child i used to be so excited when my shoe size got bigger,
because it meant that i was getting older. comparing my shoe size to my elder brother's to see how many more inches i had to go. (occasionally wearing shoes that were too big for me)
and nothing much changes as we grow older. i'm looking forward to the day i can drive, a sense of independence, not needing to listen to mummy or daddy anymore..
and now as i'm sitting here in my room thinking, the truth is that i actually am much older.
constantly with something serious at hand, deadlines for homework, parties to attend, political battles to avoid, lunch appointments to keep etc..
but then i look at the children playing on the street outside my window, and i remember how it all used to be.. how the most serious thing i could question was why dad always made me nap in the afternoons after lunch !
i remember how i played with shadows on the wall with the torchlight i'd take out from under my bed after i was "asleep".
how i used to sneak out of my bed at night to sleep in my parents room or how i used to hate taking showers cos they only served to waste precious time that could be spent fortifying my lego castle. i remember going through the phase when i felt embarrassed that there was lion king on my bookshelf when my friends came over, and so i filled my bookshelf with these complex sounding books that i really had no clue was about.
now i'm sitting here, and marveling at the loss of childhood innocence, and the wonder of how happy and contented i used to be with everything, with life in general.
without the need to care much for 1500 word history essays due the next day, whether my hair was sitting just right or other vapid stuff like that.
has it been that in my rush to grow up, that i neglected, and threw away precious childhood experiences like an old toy. now i wish i hadn't been so eager to grow up so fast.
oh the innocence of a child.
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