poésie et idylle.

Glimmers of light silently sung to the west,
as lovers watched on in silent embrace.
A velvet of darkness fell with the crest,
while mothers began to give up the chase.
The night was young and theirs for the taking,
free from bedtimes they wandered till dawn.
Their only hope was of parents not waking,
to find their teenagers missing and gone.

Out on a ledge he heaved the night air,
a tune of sadness, a tune void of hope,
This wasn't the life that he'd wanted to bear.
On his shelves sat rows of cologne,
much like himself, untouched and alone.

jon needs a break.

and not a break when he's supposed to be studying.

emotional paralysis

Have you ever seen those elephant shows in Thailand ?

the elephants are such magnificent, intelligent creatures.
capable of painting self-portraits, playing football, arranging logs etc.

And yet, have you seen how the trainers ensure that the elephants don't escape ?

they're tied by a little rope around their ankle to a little wooden stump.

(pause)

those huge, powerful beasts allow themselves to be kept in captivity by such exiguous means ?
i found it hard to believe.

but the reason is what struck a chord in me.
do you know why ?

i was informed.. that when elephants are first born,
they will be tied by the rope to the stump,
and for a while they will struggle against it,
they scream, or whatever noise baby elephants make, kick, tug, pull,
bite at the rope and basically fight for their lives against that little evil rope and stump.

and then gradually, when they finally realise that they can't escape that
evil rope and stump, they completely give up.
they resign themselves to the fact that the evil rope and stump are invincible.

(6 or 7 years later)

Baby elephant isn't so baby elephant-ish anymore..
But evil rope and stump are still in place.

and because as a baby, this elephant has resigned itself to it's fate,
to forever be held captive by this invincible rope and stump,
it has eternally given up any hope of escape.

All it takes would be for the elephant to walk normally while tied,
and the evil rope and stump would probably snap and splinter
like a dead bough before lightning.

the elephant has full ability to walk right away from it's captivity..
And yet it can't.

Such, is the power of emotional paralysis.

so many of us are living in some sort of emotional paralysis.

being in places you don't want to be ?
doing things you don't want to do ?
living a life that you don't want to live ?

sounds pretty familiar doesn't it ?

but the crux of the matter, is that you have full capability to escape and rid yourself of whatever it may be that is holding you captive.

all you need to do, is get up, and walk in the right direction.

the prayer.

God of Heaven, Lord of all,
Almighty King and Lover 'o my soul.
Reach out thine palms, and cushion my fall.
Breathe long and strong, and warm me like coal.

A year of strength is all i pray.

Down wrong paths though i have stumbled,
in Your love is where i'll rest.
Behind i leave the smoked and wrinkled,
just for You i give my best.

Friends or foe, i do not know,
but to Your grace, i will commit.
When the wine doth brew and flow,
because of love, i will omit.

Mould my brain and make it swell,
like Einstein, only twice as fine.
Take my hands and teach them well,
to master sine in half the time.

A year of strength is all i pray,
then bring the long awaited sunset,
on this international baccalaureate.

tonight, you.

tonight, i'm wondering what you're doing.
wondering how you're doing.
i'm wondering if you're awake,
or if you're sleeping peacefully.
whether you're having a dream,
or tossing and turning with nightmares.

i'm wondering if you're thinking about me too.
am i just a passing thought ?
am i a good thought, or one that is quickly brushed aside ?

tonight,
i couldn't hold my front anymore.
i couldn't pretend like you don't matter to me anymore.
i couldn't pretend that those simple words you said,
didn't cut me to my bone any longer.

sigh.
i can't believe how hopelessly hopeless i am at this.

at journey's end.

Just the other day i returned to our favourite place.
The place in itself, symbolic of how things were meant to be.

The climb heavenward was long and arduous,
where our footing was never sure, and the grass was usually wet and slippery.

but no matter what, we'd eventually make it to the top.
turn around, flop on the grass, and enjoy the fruits of our perseverance.

Walking alone, i fell along the way.
slipped, lost my footing, grazed my knee and cut my hand on a stone.

I sat on the grass, halfway to my destination,
bruised and bleeding a little. i didn't feel much pain.



But it hurt so more than i'd have ever imagined possible.

happy new year.

To You whom life has crossed,
and have been left scarred, cold and afraid
To you whom the twelve lakes, have only recently passed,
were as bitter as christmas pudding long decayed;

Still, be hindered not by the past!
Instead join in as the rest of us hope and pray,
that the sins of yesteryear no longer cozen,
and as we look forward to yet another birthday,
we seek to create a happier dozen.

simply because year's end is neither a beginning nor an end,
but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.