why

why do all good things come to an end?
fire to dust.
lovers to friends.
why do all good things come to an end?

rambles.

i dunno why in the world im doing this so you cant see it.
i guess it's a bit like how i feel right now.
like i want so badly to tell someone everything
but yet at the same time i dont.
it's seriously screwed up.

i've never felt so damn alone in my entire life.
i've sat on mountain tops by myself and watched sunsets
i've sat on beaches by myself watching sunrises
i've lied alone in the cold watching the most beautiful stars stare back at me.

but this loneliness that i feel now is.
way beyond all that.
and the saddest part is that i know i brought it upon myself.
that i was the only bugger who screwed the whole thing up.
everything.
sigh.. if you're actually reading this.
i hope you're doing a hell lot better than i am.

im done.

A stony silence closed in on the house,
punctuated by the stentorian breathing,
which appeared to me the creaking of hinges of a prison gate,
opening at the command of a soul going into freedom.

i wish.

.

there are no more surprises and shocks in life,
so that i watch the flame without agitation.
For me the greatest reality is this and nothing else...
Nothing else will worry or interest me in life hereafter.

2007

first post of 2007. i cant be bothered to change my font size or colour or font type or alignment.or press enter, or do paragraphing.so read on only if you really want.hello everyone! for some strange reason my tagboard came back to life and so i decided maybe it was a sign to start sharing bits of my thoughts on the wildwildweb again..so anyway.this is the first post of the year 2007. (pause)

well i entered 2007 filled with so much controversy. so much pain and hurt and anger and frustration and feeling very lost. i spent christmas with my mum shouting at me over the phone. i spent the transistion to the new year in doubt and fear.. (pregnant pause)

three and half weeks later? hmm. nothing's changed. it's probably gotten worse if anything.
oh well! too all of you. or to nobody.. depending on whether or not anybody's actually reading this.. dont worry. im not gonna go kill myself or anything. although im sure some people would be quite glad if i did! sorry guys. i dont think i will just yet.

haha. i'd love to see the looks on your faces at this moment.
anyway. have a great year friends. miss you guys.. ok not all of you guys..