Life is like a guitar solo,
Encompassing all of your deepest emotions.
Its beauty is from the love and the passion.
Sometimes it's fast,
fingers slice through the air in practiced precision,
hammering hard and pulling off gently.
And then it slows down.. to nearly a stop,
notes in harmony walking hand in hand along the woody floor,
they mould and meld as they slide and they sliver,
two at a time save three and four or seven and eight.
Sharp piercing screams and low soothing whispers,
emotions fly high and tears start to trickle.
It only takes practice to play like a maestro.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
the passing of time
Twelve drops slipped through fingers
Leaving memories in their wake
Each drop never lingers
Not long enough to blow the cake
Life and Love will always flow
No nothing could ever conquer
We wish and whine but always grow
No matter what the cancer
I've soared like angels in a spiral
Left the rails and swallowed gravel
To you who scorn and swear or struggle
If but one i've learnt through all this strife
Fill life with love and love with life
Leaving memories in their wake
Each drop never lingers
Not long enough to blow the cake
Life and Love will always flow
No nothing could ever conquer
We wish and whine but always grow
No matter what the cancer
I've soared like angels in a spiral
Left the rails and swallowed gravel
To you who scorn and swear or struggle
If but one i've learnt through all this strife
Fill life with love and love with life
Friday, October 17, 2008
Another Year
Another twelve have come to past
Some too slow and others too fast
Strings once new now twang and rust
Music that soothed now curse and cuss
Pain from love has settled in
Love from pain still wears a grin
Colours blur as I sit and write
Words once lies now come to light
A tree that once stood tall and strong
Roots now plagued with hurt and wrong
Truths scar deeply but still they fight
On to save the tree of right
Some too slow and others too fast
Strings once new now twang and rust
Music that soothed now curse and cuss
Pain from love has settled in
Love from pain still wears a grin
Colours blur as I sit and write
Words once lies now come to light
A tree that once stood tall and strong
Roots now plagued with hurt and wrong
Truths scar deeply but still they fight
On to save the tree of right
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Trading love for tea and sympathy
Before me lie pieces once clayed
shattered from jars carefully constructed
Before me lie cloth now frayed
gashed from tapestries beautifully crafted
Jars of clay moulded
by hand to one day sit upon the altar
Uncountable threads folded
with patience and never a thought of falter
Bits of clay and the dust of faded thread
does no justice to the glory it once beheld
A little boy once thought he owned castles forged from fire and steel
One day the ocean proved they were only grains of sand
shattered from jars carefully constructed
Before me lie cloth now frayed
gashed from tapestries beautifully crafted
Jars of clay moulded
by hand to one day sit upon the altar
Uncountable threads folded
with patience and never a thought of falter
Bits of clay and the dust of faded thread
does no justice to the glory it once beheld
A little boy once thought he owned castles forged from fire and steel
One day the ocean proved they were only grains of sand
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
trading love
you smiled in tired satisfaction as i lay there taking in the world for the first time,
laughed gently as i padded around the floor with rice grains stuck to my face.
you closed the blinds on the evening sun as we curled into bed for the night,
and read us stories when sleep just wouldn't come.
you were always worried about us, always caring, always loving.
then one day you destroyed everything i thought was true.
i tried to deny it, but the facts fit like a glove.
my only question is, was his worth your children's love?
laughed gently as i padded around the floor with rice grains stuck to my face.
you closed the blinds on the evening sun as we curled into bed for the night,
and read us stories when sleep just wouldn't come.
you were always worried about us, always caring, always loving.
then one day you destroyed everything i thought was true.
i tried to deny it, but the facts fit like a glove.
my only question is, was his worth your children's love?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
the lost pages
a forgotten chapter
slipped off the face of the world
kept under lock and key
left for none and all to see
too precious to be fed to fire
but too scarred to be brought to light
it lies in wait and debris
only one name to solve the mystery
cursed by whispers to deafness
thoughts too deep to bury
years go by and still they lie in decayed longevity
never to escape this tranquility
slipped off the face of the world
kept under lock and key
left for none and all to see
too precious to be fed to fire
but too scarred to be brought to light
it lies in wait and debris
only one name to solve the mystery
cursed by whispers to deafness
thoughts too deep to bury
years go by and still they lie in decayed longevity
never to escape this tranquility
Monday, July 21, 2008
find yourself
He hurriedly filed his dreams away as his phone screamed and wiggled at him for the fifth time to wake up.
Eventually heaving his eyes open only to find the night still plastered thickly over.
The piercing light quickly dissolved the darkness and he stumbled around while his eyes gradually adjusted to the light.
The sun was taking it's time rounding the bend today.
mr clock lazily glowed back at his glower. 5.45 am.
He had had 3 whole hours of sleep. a record.
He picked his way to the toilet, stepping and crushing notes along the way.
Around the world, 18 year old corpses everywhere repeated the same routine in the dead of the night.
Their gaunt, sunken faces barely held onto youth and bloodshot eyes screamed out for release.
Flaccid, decaying souls in supple bodies slumped over piles of undone work, the floor littered with unread notes
and their minds bled, carved from the gashes of stress and disappointment.
What demons could have so thoroughly stripped the joy from their faces
and bled their youth out of them ?
Eventually heaving his eyes open only to find the night still plastered thickly over.
The piercing light quickly dissolved the darkness and he stumbled around while his eyes gradually adjusted to the light.
The sun was taking it's time rounding the bend today.
mr clock lazily glowed back at his glower. 5.45 am.
He had had 3 whole hours of sleep. a record.
He picked his way to the toilet, stepping and crushing notes along the way.
Around the world, 18 year old corpses everywhere repeated the same routine in the dead of the night.
Their gaunt, sunken faces barely held onto youth and bloodshot eyes screamed out for release.
Flaccid, decaying souls in supple bodies slumped over piles of undone work, the floor littered with unread notes
and their minds bled, carved from the gashes of stress and disappointment.
What demons could have so thoroughly stripped the joy from their faces
and bled their youth out of them ?
Monday, July 14, 2008
failed.
i am a fool.
but i'm not any ordinary fool.
i am a fool of the highest order,
a fool of the highest degree.
some men are fools because they simply know no better
these men are to be pitied not scorned
others are fools because they forget that they know better
these men are to be slapped across the face till they remember
even others are fools because life dealt them a bad hand once
and choose to live in self pity for the rest of their sad existences
these men should be thrown onto a cruel island for a year
but fools of the highest degree..
the idiotus maximus..
these men know better, oh, much better
yet they have cut down other fools for not knowing better.
these men have lashed out at others for misdeeds which they adorn themselves with,
they have been given everything, and have returned nothing.
these men live in palaces of diamond crusted ego,
they have seen fire turn to gold, but have not believed.
what do they deserve ?
they do not deserve to love or to be loved,
and yet loves flows and froths in such an abundance
in the hope that it would drown out their foolishness.
but i'm not any ordinary fool.
i am a fool of the highest order,
a fool of the highest degree.
some men are fools because they simply know no better
these men are to be pitied not scorned
others are fools because they forget that they know better
these men are to be slapped across the face till they remember
even others are fools because life dealt them a bad hand once
and choose to live in self pity for the rest of their sad existences
these men should be thrown onto a cruel island for a year
but fools of the highest degree..
the idiotus maximus..
these men know better, oh, much better
yet they have cut down other fools for not knowing better.
these men have lashed out at others for misdeeds which they adorn themselves with,
they have been given everything, and have returned nothing.
these men live in palaces of diamond crusted ego,
they have seen fire turn to gold, but have not believed.
what do they deserve ?
they do not deserve to love or to be loved,
and yet loves flows and froths in such an abundance
in the hope that it would drown out their foolishness.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
familiaritas : confidential friendship, intimacy.
the moon snuggled up against the soft clouds,
letting out a warm glow through her cotton covering.
it was an image of warmth, comfort and love as i sat outside on the cold concrete.
little lonely drops fell softly against my bare skin, sending small chills through my body.
a flash of colour, glided through the cold night air.
it was a small bird, eagerly returning to its nest.
the dark silhouette of sleeping leaves shook gently against the night sky as the small bird landed on its welcoming arms.
the soft sound of happy baby birds drifted gently through the still air
as they cuddled contentedly together for warmth.
in the lamp-lit background was shadows of empty car lots.
lonely table lamps sat by the front door
parents out late at work,
drinking maybe.
completely unaware that their children tossed restlessly in their thin blankets,
secretly waiting for their open-ended return.
if families can stay together through thick and thin in the animal kingdom,
why can't we.
letting out a warm glow through her cotton covering.
it was an image of warmth, comfort and love as i sat outside on the cold concrete.
little lonely drops fell softly against my bare skin, sending small chills through my body.
a flash of colour, glided through the cold night air.
it was a small bird, eagerly returning to its nest.
the dark silhouette of sleeping leaves shook gently against the night sky as the small bird landed on its welcoming arms.
the soft sound of happy baby birds drifted gently through the still air
as they cuddled contentedly together for warmth.
in the lamp-lit background was shadows of empty car lots.
lonely table lamps sat by the front door
parents out late at work,
drinking maybe.
completely unaware that their children tossed restlessly in their thin blankets,
secretly waiting for their open-ended return.
if families can stay together through thick and thin in the animal kingdom,
why can't we.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
blissful
A dusty, decrepit road stood alone, meandering through the forest of efil.
Leaves once proudly dark and gloriously green, now lay curled inward like the gnarled fingers of an old woodsman.
Life as he knew it was the forest of efil, the perilous forest of efil.
The moonlight sprinkled down, pausing only to brush the rough edges of sleeping leaves.
A wolf called her cubs softly in the distance and dead dry leaves rustled softly in the passing breeze.
The gentle breeze slowly began to dance, and twirled the dead dry leaves around her as she spun.
Faster, faster, faster, into an abyss of brown and green while the trees swayed their approval.
The wind held it's breath for a fraction of a second,
Then the rains fell.
and fell like never before.
Heavy droplets of bliss fell in torrents, crashing violently into the dust covered, decrepit road.
Gentle droplets of love sprinkled down in droves, floating gently down and caressed the dust covered, decrepit road.
It rained, and it washed, and rained, and cleansed, and rained, and healed, and rained, and it brought life to that dusty, decrepit road.
And the forest of efil was never the same again.
Leaves once proudly dark and gloriously green, now lay curled inward like the gnarled fingers of an old woodsman.
Life as he knew it was the forest of efil, the perilous forest of efil.
The moonlight sprinkled down, pausing only to brush the rough edges of sleeping leaves.
A wolf called her cubs softly in the distance and dead dry leaves rustled softly in the passing breeze.
The gentle breeze slowly began to dance, and twirled the dead dry leaves around her as she spun.
Faster, faster, faster, into an abyss of brown and green while the trees swayed their approval.
The wind held it's breath for a fraction of a second,
Then the rains fell.
and fell like never before.
Heavy droplets of bliss fell in torrents, crashing violently into the dust covered, decrepit road.
Gentle droplets of love sprinkled down in droves, floating gently down and caressed the dust covered, decrepit road.
It rained, and it washed, and rained, and cleansed, and rained, and healed, and rained, and it brought life to that dusty, decrepit road.
And the forest of efil was never the same again.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Jon's Dictionary
1. Meh
m·eh Audio Help [m-ehh-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–sound
1. a sound made in extreme annoyance
2. an expression of annoyance or disappointment
Example:
Teacher X: why is your assignment two days late?
Student A: because my dog ate my assignment
Teacher X: meh. you must finish it before going home.
Student A: meh !
[Origin: unknown]
2. Neh
n·eh Audio Help [n-eeeh-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–sound
1. a sound made in slight annoyance
2. an expression of discomfort
Example:
Boy A: let's eat lunch
Boy B: the food looks like crap
Boy A + B: neh.
[Origin: 2007-unknown]
3. Merhhhdorrnerrrhhhz
merhhh·dorr·nerrr·hhhz Audio Help [as it looks] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-name
1. Macdonalds
Example:
Boy A: (in chinese) wo men qu mai mai dan lao !
Boy B: what's mai dan lao ?
Boy A: zomg ! Macdonalds !!
Boy B: HUH ? i thought macdonalds in chinese is Merhhhdorrnerrrhhhz !
[Origin: Mark Bala's awesome chinese]
m·eh Audio Help [m-ehh-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–sound
1. a sound made in extreme annoyance
2. an expression of annoyance or disappointment
Example:
Teacher X: why is your assignment two days late?
Student A: because my dog ate my assignment
Teacher X: meh. you must finish it before going home.
Student A: meh !
[Origin: unknown]
2. Neh
n·eh Audio Help [n-eeeh-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–sound
1. a sound made in slight annoyance
2. an expression of discomfort
Example:
Boy A: let's eat lunch
Boy B: the food looks like crap
Boy A + B: neh.
[Origin: 2007-unknown]
3. Merhhhdorrnerrrhhhz
merhhh·dorr·nerrr·hhhz Audio Help [as it looks] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-name
1. Macdonalds
Example:
Boy A: (in chinese) wo men qu mai mai dan lao !
Boy B: what's mai dan lao ?
Boy A: zomg ! Macdonalds !!
Boy B: HUH ? i thought macdonalds in chinese is Merhhhdorrnerrrhhhz !
[Origin: Mark Bala's awesome chinese]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
ramblings XI
Will you EVER be satisfied?
I'm beginning to believe that it is humanly impossible.
There is really nobody who can totally tick me off as much as you do.
You are truly talented.
There is no one else who can bring me to the threshold of my tolerance,
and then dares to completely push me over the edge.
You have no idea how hard i've tried to make you happy.
I know you've invested so much time and money in me,
but i'm not instant noodles.
You can't possibly expect instant results.
What hurts the most is when you keep harping on and on about small mistakes i've made,
some dating back to the stone ages.
And completely negating any positive things i might have attained.
You keep coming to my room to try and make peace,
but you just don't know how to stop talking,
and so each time you come up,
it just gets worse.
Seriously, just please shut up and get out of my room.
I'm beginning to believe that it is humanly impossible.
There is really nobody who can totally tick me off as much as you do.
You are truly talented.
There is no one else who can bring me to the threshold of my tolerance,
and then dares to completely push me over the edge.
You have no idea how hard i've tried to make you happy.
I know you've invested so much time and money in me,
but i'm not instant noodles.
You can't possibly expect instant results.
What hurts the most is when you keep harping on and on about small mistakes i've made,
some dating back to the stone ages.
And completely negating any positive things i might have attained.
You keep coming to my room to try and make peace,
but you just don't know how to stop talking,
and so each time you come up,
it just gets worse.
Seriously, just please shut up and get out of my room.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
a new beginning.
Sunlight poured in through his tall Victorian windows
hindered only momentarily by his lazily hanging drapes as they danced through the cold, clean air to caress his sleeping face.
He climbed the golden stairs, and left behind the dark glittering darkness of his dreams.
Turning over in his bed, he felt the pleasant sensation of the cold pillow against his warm cheek.
This day would not be the same as the others.
He had found a new joy, derived from more than anything money could ever buy.
A decisive day by the sea, had proven more vital than he would have ever thought possible.
hindered only momentarily by his lazily hanging drapes as they danced through the cold, clean air to caress his sleeping face.
He climbed the golden stairs, and left behind the dark glittering darkness of his dreams.
Turning over in his bed, he felt the pleasant sensation of the cold pillow against his warm cheek.
This day would not be the same as the others.
He had found a new joy, derived from more than anything money could ever buy.
A decisive day by the sea, had proven more vital than he would have ever thought possible.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
take a look.
I look around me, what do I see ?
Look around you, do you see what I see ?
I see how we have created and shaped this world to our liking.
We have flattened mountains and built ourselves towering houses.
We have created our own way of life,
our own civilised, cultured, life.
We have learnt to soar above the eagles in the sky,
and scoured the depths of the ocean.
We have fished the seas dry out of greed not necessity.
We have laid waste to the land and created our kingdom.
We have industrialised, and left millions to starve.
We have created our own idols;
money, health, wealth, science, fame, popularity,
intelligence, academic achievement, even religion,
and sought after these more fervently than God.
We have put Him in a box, and conveniently tucked it out of sight.
We have broken many hearts, and yet broken one heart again and again.
Who has done these things you ask;
It is I, and it is You.
We have broken His heart via dolorosa.
Look around you, do you see what I see ?
I see how we have created and shaped this world to our liking.
We have flattened mountains and built ourselves towering houses.
We have created our own way of life,
our own civilised, cultured, life.
We have learnt to soar above the eagles in the sky,
and scoured the depths of the ocean.
We have fished the seas dry out of greed not necessity.
We have laid waste to the land and created our kingdom.
We have industrialised, and left millions to starve.
We have created our own idols;
money, health, wealth, science, fame, popularity,
intelligence, academic achievement, even religion,
and sought after these more fervently than God.
We have put Him in a box, and conveniently tucked it out of sight.
We have broken many hearts, and yet broken one heart again and again.
Who has done these things you ask;
It is I, and it is You.
We have broken His heart via dolorosa.
Friday, March 14, 2008
stars will fade
Did you see the stars tonight?
They shone, and made the cold and dark depart.
As i sat outside in the waning light
The cold chilled my thoughts of fire
and warmed my heart of ice.
My senses felt sharp as a trampled rose thorn
I felt the icy wind slice through,
but I felt no chill on my skin.
I heard the train as it crunched down on its tracks
While it was yet a hundred miles far
I smelt the soft dew
as it formed on blades of new grass
and heard the ruffle of feathers
As baby birds stirred in their dreams.
Then the earth had sung it's lullaby and fell silent
As it ushered in your birthday
And you were in my dreams while i was yet awake
Did you see the stars tonight?
They shone, and made the cold and dark depart.
They shone, and made the cold and dark depart.
As i sat outside in the waning light
The cold chilled my thoughts of fire
and warmed my heart of ice.
My senses felt sharp as a trampled rose thorn
I felt the icy wind slice through,
but I felt no chill on my skin.
I heard the train as it crunched down on its tracks
While it was yet a hundred miles far
I smelt the soft dew
as it formed on blades of new grass
and heard the ruffle of feathers
As baby birds stirred in their dreams.
Then the earth had sung it's lullaby and fell silent
As it ushered in your birthday
And you were in my dreams while i was yet awake
Did you see the stars tonight?
They shone, and made the cold and dark depart.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
✓
ahh.. les vacances de marche..
more time to sleep. ✘
more time to cycle. ✘
more time to hang out with friends. ✘
more time to shop. ✘
more time to exercise. ✘
more time to read. ✘
more time to play guitar. ✘
more time to wakeboard. ✘
more time to study. ✓
more time to write extended essay. ✓
more time to do math portfolio. ✓
more time to write economics commentaries. ✓
more time to file papers. ✓
more time to write history internal assessment. ✓
the life of an ib student. love it. ✓
more time to sleep. ✘
more time to cycle. ✘
more time to hang out with friends. ✘
more time to shop. ✘
more time to exercise. ✘
more time to read. ✘
more time to play guitar. ✘
more time to wakeboard. ✘
more time to study. ✓
more time to write extended essay. ✓
more time to do math portfolio. ✓
more time to write economics commentaries. ✓
more time to file papers. ✓
more time to write history internal assessment. ✓
the life of an ib student. love it. ✓
Saturday, March 01, 2008
until philosophers are kings
Until philosophers are kings,
or the kings and princes of this world have the spirit and power of philosophy,
and political greatness and wisdom meet in one,
and those commoner natures who pursue either to the exclusion of the other are compelled to stand aside,
cities will never have rest from their evils, no, nor the human race,
as i believe-and then only will this our State have a possibility of life and behold the light of day.
or the kings and princes of this world have the spirit and power of philosophy,
and political greatness and wisdom meet in one,
and those commoner natures who pursue either to the exclusion of the other are compelled to stand aside,
cities will never have rest from their evils, no, nor the human race,
as i believe-and then only will this our State have a possibility of life and behold the light of day.
Monday, February 25, 2008
no idea.
well that was disappointing.
but oh wells.
on a separate note,
i don't like britney spears.
but it's ok.
but oh wells.
on a separate note,
i don't like britney spears.
but it's ok.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
oh-so-tired.
i'm really tired tonight.
went for a hill session with passi:one this evening,
and completely wasn't feeling it..
had trouble breathing, and my legs just weren't moving like they should be..
really worried about this sunday now.
i have so much work to do,
i don't know where to start !!
[ i know i'm whining ): ]
tonight is one of those nights
where i just don't know how long more
i can keep my nose above water..
on a lighter note,
there have been things that have added splashes of colour
to my otherwise prosaic existence.
playing in the water sprinklers today was hilarious..
like a couple of primary school kids all over again.
haha.
joel leaves today ):
it's been great working with you for the past two years,
i've learnt tons from you
and you will be greatly missed by all of us.
i hope somebody warned perth about what's about to hit them.
haha.
goodnight people..
time for essays.
went for a hill session with passi:one this evening,
and completely wasn't feeling it..
had trouble breathing, and my legs just weren't moving like they should be..
really worried about this sunday now.
i have so much work to do,
i don't know where to start !!
[ i know i'm whining ): ]
tonight is one of those nights
where i just don't know how long more
i can keep my nose above water..
on a lighter note,
there have been things that have added splashes of colour
to my otherwise prosaic existence.
playing in the water sprinklers today was hilarious..
like a couple of primary school kids all over again.
haha.
joel leaves today ):
it's been great working with you for the past two years,
i've learnt tons from you
and you will be greatly missed by all of us.
i hope somebody warned perth about what's about to hit them.
haha.
goodnight people..
time for essays.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
λ=V/f
λ=V/f
wavelength= velocity divided by frequency
how fast you're going, divided by how often you return to the axis...
all i'm asking for is a stationary wave on the axis for a little while.
Monday, February 18, 2008
gone.
i've arrived at the week of my race.
the outlook is not good.
IB is churning at full speed,
and deadlines are full of malice and wielding threats of 1 grades.
my sleep deficit is beyond funny,
and my dreams at night aren't helping me out either.
indolence consumes me whole,
typing this is the most i can do right now.
BUT I WANT TO WIN THIS RACE.
help.
the outlook is not good.
IB is churning at full speed,
and deadlines are full of malice and wielding threats of 1 grades.
my sleep deficit is beyond funny,
and my dreams at night aren't helping me out either.
indolence consumes me whole,
typing this is the most i can do right now.
BUT I WANT TO WIN THIS RACE.
help.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Cogito, ergo sum
i wrote this one a long time ago.. nearly 11 months ago. not sure why i never posted it. it's rather amusing.
"Cogito, ergo sum" (Latin: "I think, therefore I am") or Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum (Latin: "I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am") is a philosophical statement used by René Descartes.
on how many planes do we exist ?
“ But I have convinced myself that there is absolutely nothing in the world, no sky, no earth, no minds, no bodies. Does it now follow that I too do not exist? No: if I convinced myself of something [or thought anything at all] then I certainly existed. But there is a deceiver of supreme power and cunning who is deliberately and constantly deceiving me. In that case I too undoubtedly exist, if he is deceiving me; and let him deceive me as much as he can, he will never bring it about that I am nothing so long as I think that I am something. So, after considering everything very thoroughly, I must finally conclude that the proposition, I am, I exist, is necessarily true whenever it is put forward by me or conceived in my mind. (AT VII 25; CSM II 16–17) ”
ok so maybe most of you probably didnt read that whole chunk up there, you should, it's actually very interesting.
i think ive been told half a million times by quite a number of people that i think too much. is that even possible ? to think TOO MUCH. haha i guess many of you would say that this blog entry is a result from thinking too much.
i maintain my position that it's not possible to ever think too much.
4/7/07
"Cogito, ergo sum" (Latin: "I think, therefore I am") or Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum (Latin: "I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am") is a philosophical statement used by René Descartes.
on how many planes do we exist ?
“ But I have convinced myself that there is absolutely nothing in the world, no sky, no earth, no minds, no bodies. Does it now follow that I too do not exist? No: if I convinced myself of something [or thought anything at all] then I certainly existed. But there is a deceiver of supreme power and cunning who is deliberately and constantly deceiving me. In that case I too undoubtedly exist, if he is deceiving me; and let him deceive me as much as he can, he will never bring it about that I am nothing so long as I think that I am something. So, after considering everything very thoroughly, I must finally conclude that the proposition, I am, I exist, is necessarily true whenever it is put forward by me or conceived in my mind. (AT VII 25; CSM II 16–17) ”
ok so maybe most of you probably didnt read that whole chunk up there, you should, it's actually very interesting.
i think ive been told half a million times by quite a number of people that i think too much. is that even possible ? to think TOO MUCH. haha i guess many of you would say that this blog entry is a result from thinking too much.
i maintain my position that it's not possible to ever think too much.
4/7/07
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
valentines day '08
happy valentines day everyone.
to those who love and are loved,
always treasure each other.
talk a lot, laugh a lot, smile a lot,
walk a lot, share a lot, hug a lot
and always consider each other before yourself.
to the rest of us.
don't let the celebrations get you down !
be proud of your single hood.
when the time is right, the time will be right (:
don't need to rush anything.
In memory of St. Valentine.
to those who love and are loved,
always treasure each other.
talk a lot, laugh a lot, smile a lot,
walk a lot, share a lot, hug a lot
and always consider each other before yourself.
to the rest of us.
don't let the celebrations get you down !
be proud of your single hood.
when the time is right, the time will be right (:
don't need to rush anything.
In memory of St. Valentine.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
helpless.
he sat in the dark corner of his room,
huddled with his knees against his chest.
it was warm, but he felt so cold tonight.
so cold..
pain crawled through his soul,
carving, ripping, tearing, screaming as it dragged through his mind,
cleaving it in two.
he didn't know who he was anymore,
didn't know how he would face another day of colourless dreams.
another day of emptiness and soulful decrepitude.
what could i do to help someone so completely broken and so devastatingly hurt ?
helplessness washed through me as i uttered seemingly unheard words into the heart of the night.
please save my friend.
love conquers all, but what happens when love is ruthlessly wrenched away ?
huddled with his knees against his chest.
it was warm, but he felt so cold tonight.
so cold..
pain crawled through his soul,
carving, ripping, tearing, screaming as it dragged through his mind,
cleaving it in two.
he didn't know who he was anymore,
didn't know how he would face another day of colourless dreams.
another day of emptiness and soulful decrepitude.
what could i do to help someone so completely broken and so devastatingly hurt ?
helplessness washed through me as i uttered seemingly unheard words into the heart of the night.
please save my friend.
love conquers all, but what happens when love is ruthlessly wrenched away ?
Monday, February 04, 2008
goodnight.
Sleep beckoned gently from the whispers of his eyes
as he shuffled slowly through the terrible wars and crimes.
Images of fallen kings and angry peasants slipped to mystery and spies,
thoughts and dreams with court jesters talking in rhymes.
Slumped on his bed, he dreamt on of sweets and cake.
Laptop still purring, tomorrow, he'd awake with a neck ache.
Goodnight world.
as he shuffled slowly through the terrible wars and crimes.
Images of fallen kings and angry peasants slipped to mystery and spies,
thoughts and dreams with court jesters talking in rhymes.
Slumped on his bed, he dreamt on of sweets and cake.
Laptop still purring, tomorrow, he'd awake with a neck ache.
Goodnight world.
Friday, February 01, 2008
life and death.
a long time ago, i used to write a lot about life's fragility...
tonight, on my way to training, at 827pm, at the junction of clementi road and kent ridge crescent, i very nearly became one with the paint on the side of a black honda civic.
it is completely by God's grace that i'm not dead/very badly injured. i was coasting at about 37kmh, in my own little world as usual, when the car from the opposite road cut right in front of me to turn into kent ridge crescent. i honestly don't remember braking at all. i didn't even see the car until my front tire was about half a meter from the passenger door. i miraculously braked, before even seeing the car..
it's good to be alive.
i spent the rest of the night thinking about what would have happened if God hadn't spared me tonight..
i'd never have had another chance to tell my family how much i loved them,
never have had another chance to say sorry to everyone i've hurt,
never have had another chance to tell my friends how much i loved them and meant to me,
never have had another chance to touch someone else's life..
never have had another chance to do....anything.
so tonight, i just want to thank all my friends for everything, i love you guyszxz (:
sorry if i've ever hurt any of you.
life's really too fragile to leave things unsaid,
too short to hold grudges
and too unpredictable to stop loving.
tonight, on my way to training, at 827pm, at the junction of clementi road and kent ridge crescent, i very nearly became one with the paint on the side of a black honda civic.
it is completely by God's grace that i'm not dead/very badly injured. i was coasting at about 37kmh, in my own little world as usual, when the car from the opposite road cut right in front of me to turn into kent ridge crescent. i honestly don't remember braking at all. i didn't even see the car until my front tire was about half a meter from the passenger door. i miraculously braked, before even seeing the car..
it's good to be alive.
i spent the rest of the night thinking about what would have happened if God hadn't spared me tonight..
i'd never have had another chance to tell my family how much i loved them,
never have had another chance to say sorry to everyone i've hurt,
never have had another chance to tell my friends how much i loved them and meant to me,
never have had another chance to touch someone else's life..
never have had another chance to do....anything.
so tonight, i just want to thank all my friends for everything, i love you guyszxz (:
sorry if i've ever hurt any of you.
life's really too fragile to leave things unsaid,
too short to hold grudges
and too unpredictable to stop loving.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
poésie et idylle.
Glimmers of light silently sung to the west,
as lovers watched on in silent embrace.
A velvet of darkness fell with the crest,
while mothers began to give up the chase.
The night was young and theirs for the taking,
free from bedtimes they wandered till dawn.
Their only hope was of parents not waking,
to find their teenagers missing and gone.
Out on a ledge he heaved the night air,
a tune of sadness, a tune void of hope,
This wasn't the life that he'd wanted to bear.
On his shelves sat rows of cologne,
much like himself, untouched and alone.
as lovers watched on in silent embrace.
A velvet of darkness fell with the crest,
while mothers began to give up the chase.
The night was young and theirs for the taking,
free from bedtimes they wandered till dawn.
Their only hope was of parents not waking,
to find their teenagers missing and gone.
Out on a ledge he heaved the night air,
a tune of sadness, a tune void of hope,
This wasn't the life that he'd wanted to bear.
On his shelves sat rows of cologne,
much like himself, untouched and alone.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
emotional paralysis
Have you ever seen those elephant shows in Thailand ?
the elephants are such magnificent, intelligent creatures.
capable of painting self-portraits, playing football, arranging logs etc.
And yet, have you seen how the trainers ensure that the elephants don't escape ?
they're tied by a little rope around their ankle to a little wooden stump.
(pause)
those huge, powerful beasts allow themselves to be kept in captivity by such exiguous means ?
i found it hard to believe.
but the reason is what struck a chord in me.
do you know why ?
i was informed.. that when elephants are first born,
they will be tied by the rope to the stump,
and for a while they will struggle against it,
they scream, or whatever noise baby elephants make, kick, tug, pull,
bite at the rope and basically fight for their lives against that little evil rope and stump.
and then gradually, when they finally realise that they can't escape that
evil rope and stump, they completely give up.
they resign themselves to the fact that the evil rope and stump are invincible.
(6 or 7 years later)
Baby elephant isn't so baby elephant-ish anymore..
But evil rope and stump are still in place.
and because as a baby, this elephant has resigned itself to it's fate,
to forever be held captive by this invincible rope and stump,
it has eternally given up any hope of escape.
All it takes would be for the elephant to walk normally while tied,
and the evil rope and stump would probably snap and splinter
like a dead bough before lightning.
the elephant has full ability to walk right away from it's captivity..
And yet it can't.
Such, is the power of emotional paralysis.
so many of us are living in some sort of emotional paralysis.
being in places you don't want to be ?
doing things you don't want to do ?
living a life that you don't want to live ?
sounds pretty familiar doesn't it ?
but the crux of the matter, is that you have full capability to escape and rid yourself of whatever it may be that is holding you captive.
all you need to do, is get up, and walk in the right direction.
the elephants are such magnificent, intelligent creatures.
capable of painting self-portraits, playing football, arranging logs etc.
And yet, have you seen how the trainers ensure that the elephants don't escape ?
they're tied by a little rope around their ankle to a little wooden stump.
(pause)
those huge, powerful beasts allow themselves to be kept in captivity by such exiguous means ?
i found it hard to believe.
but the reason is what struck a chord in me.
do you know why ?
i was informed.. that when elephants are first born,
they will be tied by the rope to the stump,
and for a while they will struggle against it,
they scream, or whatever noise baby elephants make, kick, tug, pull,
bite at the rope and basically fight for their lives against that little evil rope and stump.
and then gradually, when they finally realise that they can't escape that
evil rope and stump, they completely give up.
they resign themselves to the fact that the evil rope and stump are invincible.
(6 or 7 years later)
Baby elephant isn't so baby elephant-ish anymore..
But evil rope and stump are still in place.
and because as a baby, this elephant has resigned itself to it's fate,
to forever be held captive by this invincible rope and stump,
it has eternally given up any hope of escape.
All it takes would be for the elephant to walk normally while tied,
and the evil rope and stump would probably snap and splinter
like a dead bough before lightning.
the elephant has full ability to walk right away from it's captivity..
And yet it can't.
Such, is the power of emotional paralysis.
so many of us are living in some sort of emotional paralysis.
being in places you don't want to be ?
doing things you don't want to do ?
living a life that you don't want to live ?
sounds pretty familiar doesn't it ?
but the crux of the matter, is that you have full capability to escape and rid yourself of whatever it may be that is holding you captive.
all you need to do, is get up, and walk in the right direction.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
the prayer.
God of Heaven, Lord of all,
Almighty King and Lover 'o my soul.
Reach out thine palms, and cushion my fall.
Breathe long and strong, and warm me like coal.
A year of strength is all i pray.
Down wrong paths though i have stumbled,
in Your love is where i'll rest.
Behind i leave the smoked and wrinkled,
just for You i give my best.
Friends or foe, i do not know,
but to Your grace, i will commit.
When the wine doth brew and flow,
because of love, i will omit.
Mould my brain and make it swell,
like Einstein, only twice as fine.
Take my hands and teach them well,
to master sine in half the time.
A year of strength is all i pray,
then bring the long awaited sunset,
on this international baccalaureate.
Almighty King and Lover 'o my soul.
Reach out thine palms, and cushion my fall.
Breathe long and strong, and warm me like coal.
A year of strength is all i pray.
Down wrong paths though i have stumbled,
in Your love is where i'll rest.
Behind i leave the smoked and wrinkled,
just for You i give my best.
Friends or foe, i do not know,
but to Your grace, i will commit.
When the wine doth brew and flow,
because of love, i will omit.
Mould my brain and make it swell,
like Einstein, only twice as fine.
Take my hands and teach them well,
to master sine in half the time.
A year of strength is all i pray,
then bring the long awaited sunset,
on this international baccalaureate.
Friday, January 11, 2008
tonight, you.
tonight, i'm wondering what you're doing.
wondering how you're doing.
i'm wondering if you're awake,
or if you're sleeping peacefully.
whether you're having a dream,
or tossing and turning with nightmares.
i'm wondering if you're thinking about me too.
am i just a passing thought ?
am i a good thought, or one that is quickly brushed aside ?
tonight,
i couldn't hold my front anymore.
i couldn't pretend like you don't matter to me anymore.
i couldn't pretend that those simple words you said,
didn't cut me to my bone any longer.
sigh.
i can't believe how hopelessly hopeless i am at this.
wondering how you're doing.
i'm wondering if you're awake,
or if you're sleeping peacefully.
whether you're having a dream,
or tossing and turning with nightmares.
i'm wondering if you're thinking about me too.
am i just a passing thought ?
am i a good thought, or one that is quickly brushed aside ?
tonight,
i couldn't hold my front anymore.
i couldn't pretend like you don't matter to me anymore.
i couldn't pretend that those simple words you said,
didn't cut me to my bone any longer.
sigh.
i can't believe how hopelessly hopeless i am at this.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
at journey's end.
Just the other day i returned to our favourite place.
The place in itself, symbolic of how things were meant to be.
The climb heavenward was long and arduous,
where our footing was never sure, and the grass was usually wet and slippery.
but no matter what, we'd eventually make it to the top.
turn around, flop on the grass, and enjoy the fruits of our perseverance.
Walking alone, i fell along the way.
slipped, lost my footing, grazed my knee and cut my hand on a stone.
I sat on the grass, halfway to my destination,
bruised and bleeding a little. i didn't feel much pain.
But it hurt so more than i'd have ever imagined possible.
The place in itself, symbolic of how things were meant to be.
The climb heavenward was long and arduous,
where our footing was never sure, and the grass was usually wet and slippery.
but no matter what, we'd eventually make it to the top.
turn around, flop on the grass, and enjoy the fruits of our perseverance.
Walking alone, i fell along the way.
slipped, lost my footing, grazed my knee and cut my hand on a stone.
I sat on the grass, halfway to my destination,
bruised and bleeding a little. i didn't feel much pain.
But it hurt so more than i'd have ever imagined possible.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
happy new year.
To You whom life has crossed,
and have been left scarred, cold and afraid
To you whom the twelve lakes, have only recently passed,
were as bitter as christmas pudding long decayed;
Still, be hindered not by the past!
Instead join in as the rest of us hope and pray,
that the sins of yesteryear no longer cozen,
and as we look forward to yet another birthday,
we seek to create a happier dozen.
simply because year's end is neither a beginning nor an end,
but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
and have been left scarred, cold and afraid
To you whom the twelve lakes, have only recently passed,
were as bitter as christmas pudding long decayed;
Still, be hindered not by the past!
Instead join in as the rest of us hope and pray,
that the sins of yesteryear no longer cozen,
and as we look forward to yet another birthday,
we seek to create a happier dozen.
simply because year's end is neither a beginning nor an end,
but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
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